Transmogrification of the Worm

Through dirt and dust, burrows deep my frame,
Cleaving unto the dung, I writhe.
A worm by nature, a worm by name;
Who am I to have seen thy light?

The stench of my offence piles above
Up and up and higher to the sky.
Repaying corruption to Thy love;
Why wouldest Thou look down to me?

In mud of ignorance, yet with pride
I cannot meet Thy gracious gaze.
Born wallowing in depravity;
I died before that filthy birth.

Thy boundless grace and mercy reached down
Through the vile excrement of me,
Granting me righteousness as a crown,
Giving me wings upon which to fly.

What solid hope has filled my frailty?
What great strength is in my new bones?
What beauty clothes my heart within me?
The glory of Thy light of life.

My eyes can see, and my ears can hear
My mind begins to understand
The sweetest sound of Thy voice so clear,
And the words by which I live.

- Sam W.

The Colours of Redemption

All waters receding at last!
The longest year had passed.
A dove brought back the olive leaf,
With the sweet smell of relief!
The covering had been enough
To brave the waves so tough;
Divine design had proved the tub
Which bore them through the rub.

After much waiting for the Word
“Go forth with all”, they heard.
Living creatures, fowl, beasts, creepers,
Emerged with believers.
Two or more of every kind
Not a colour out of mind;
That altar built for offering
Gave thanks unto the King.

Remembrance of a sacrifice
Paid for their sin the price,
Of old and yet to come by death
To cover for their breath;
Confirmation of the promise
Made at their genesis,
Of transcendent friendship restored;
Most undeserved reward.

Of colour the restoration,
And only foundation.
Of colour the full salvation,
And its preservation.
Never would the waters return
Such was divine concern;
Never again would seasons fail,
Although our sins prevail.

And as a sign of this decree
Eternally to be,
“I do set my bow in the cloud,”
The mighty words were vowed.
So today these colours we see
Inseparably free,
In the circle vast, hung in air
Incomparably fair.

The rainbow beams amidst darkness
Despite despair to bless.
When bleakest clouds stretch, spread, and shroud,
Our hearts may still sing loud.
Colours myriad 'round the throne,
Make clear what has been shown
Some purchased, through judgment, by grace
From each tribe, tongue, and race.

Though clouds be vast and numerous
To damn the blasphemous,
Yet a remnant still, of each shade,
Just as vile, given aid.
Every colour distinct in beauty,
Yet all in one with glee.
Each part of eternal glory,
Forever praising Thee.

- Sam W.

Glory to God alone for the lives of the saints!

I walk among a blind people,
The world, eyes shut, wonders.
My God has made the universe
The trees and the flowers,
The heavens, stars and planets all
With the fields, bogs and plains,
The mountains, hills, rocks and rivers,
Were form'd by God's good plans.

I gaze across the vast oceans,
Seeing the horizon,
This planet too great for my mind,
Amaz'd by our own sun.
The dawn takes my breath all away
The mist terrifies me,
The quaking earth throws me to ground,
In awe and fear to be.

The clouds billow and thunders roll
The sky flashes with light,
God makes His voice, His anger known;
Boasters all flee in fright.
Fear, all you men who boast, the Lord
Who alone is worthy
Who alone works obedience,
In the saints and in me.

You fools who boast in deeds and will,
Sacrifice and service,
Hear what the prophets spoke of old,
And wander not amiss.
The Lord delights not in these, but
A humble, contrite heart,
Such pleases Him who has no need,
Whose love does not depart.

As by the disobedience,
of one man all were sin,
So by the full obedience
of one man, redemption.
With one sacrifice was God pleas'd,
His Son and none beside.
And all His saints do nothing good,
And should not have such pride.

We love because He lov'd us first.
No good thing dwells in us,
Except His Spir't who works alone
Obedience in us.
Apart from this we only sin,
And nothing add do we,
That Scripture be prov'd when it says
All glory to Him be!

As God alone work'd to create,
That none else may glory,
So He alone work'd salvation,
To set His people free.
Now all you boasters in man's will
Who makes you to differ?
Does not the mighty Lord alone,
Set you from another?

Let him who boasts, make this his boast,
That he does know the Lord.
Without pride, let him who glories,
Glory alone in God.
God, I confess, open'd my eyes,
And freely forgave me,
And though God's this reveal'd to me,
I'm better not than thee.

"Those that walk in pride he is able to abase."

It seems like I live a life of torture.
Torture in all the early days of school,
Educated with grim exclusion,
Tutored by isolation and hatred;
My teachers were scoffing and violence.
I cried friendless and lonely.

Moving cranked the wheel of the rack.
Stretched out further on the coals of abuse,
Heaps of mockery fell like scalding irons,
Thrown in the mud and scraped on the tarmac;
There was no mercy for a four-eyed freak.
The tears on the outside all dried up.

Inward turmoil was my closest study.
Oppression grew me a hardened casing,
Bitterness became my only protection,
Foolish boasts and jokes deflected the blows;
Laughing at the pain was my wretched strength.
The well of my heart drew no more water.

My heart was crushed and powdered.
The eyes of my head could see no light,
The world around was like the darkest pit,
Despair and emptiness invaded my soul;
To the point where I could only see I was dead.
No brighter sight could I then have seen.

In such a hopeless state, I hungered.
A thirst for light and help remained,
Deep longing harboured in my weakest frame,
Despair became kindling for a mighty flame;
Loneliness became fuel waiting for a spark.
God had brought me low and then struck a match.

Blessed regeneration flared within!
Jesus preached to my heart and soul,
A joyful fountain erupted in my well!
A volcano of hope and life exploded;
My eyes were filled with light and glory.
The Spirit gave me the blessed rebirth.

Though I was a sinner in every respect
And full of transgression and evil and debt,
Yet Christ was more gracious and full of mercy.
He filled up my heart with the faith to behold
His righteous and holy perfection untold.
What I had deserved He had borne on the tree.

Psalms!

"My dead heart now is beating!"

You satisfy me Lord.
In the midst of the turmoil
As my emotions take hold,
You are the shield of my heart.
Stand watch Lord, and protect,
Guard my heart from temptation.
Come Lord, and satisfy
Fill me with Your steadfast love.

Your beauty cannot be contained
Not in all of creation
Not in all my sight and sense.
Enlarge my vision, O Lord,
Broaden my mind and make it grow,
Open my heart to know Your love
Give me eyes to see You,
I long to gaze on Your beauty.

Without You Lord, I am dead
I wander away hopelessly lost
Nothing can compare with You
Your truth and Your beauty are my desire
To see Your glory is my deepest longing
To gaze on Your face is beyond compare.
Raise me to life again, to know You
Lead me back to Your paths.

Your ways are wonderful, O Lord,
To contemplate Your plans is wondrous to me.
You have shown me Your kindness
You have looked on me with mercy
And You have showered Your grace upon me.
I am such a wretched man
Yet Your grace is greater than my transgressions
You delight to give good gifts to me.

I have not wearied myself for You
I have squandered my inheritance.
To Your faithfulness and love
I have been unfaithful and adulterous.
Yet You have loved me everlastingly
And You fill my heart with sorrowful joy
As You show me my failings
And stir up the depths of my dead heart.

Only You Lord, can fill our hearts,
Only You can make us love compassion
Only You can break our hearts with love
Your love is greater than our coldness.
Only You can heal the cold dead heart
Only You can heal my broken heart,
Without You I am dead, and all the world
Is without compare to Your love.

Your love is better than life,
Though my heart and flesh may fail
I am Yours and You are mine
Now I know nothing can separate us.

---

I love writing poetry (or at least I like to think it's poetry - a bit presumptuous, maybe), but I realised that a lot of how I had been using this gift was initially for writing complaints or self-pity rants but I noticed that through writing God often draws me closer and He shows me more of the hope I have in Him, He show me that life is knowing Him and falling more in love with Him every day. It got me thinking, if I would ever consider writing love poetry to a girl that I loved, why would I not first devote myself to writing love poetry to God? The answer is that my deceitfully wicked heart needs a lot of work. My Creator, Saviour, Redeemer and King, deserves all my love first and foremost. The more I meditate on Him, the more I gaze on His beauty and glory, the more deeply I fall in love with Him, and I know that when I start writing, my love for God grows. It would be insanity to write love poetry to anyone else, if I have not first fallen deeply in love with God. A sure recipe for destruction. Indeed any love I have for anyone else would not be complete if my love does not flow from my love for God and the love He has for me. There is no-one in the world who I could love as much as I could love God, if He continues to open my eyes to see Him, and there surely is no-one in the world who could love me as much as God has already loved me everlastingly, and it is only by His love that I can love at all.

Read the Psalms, the Warrior-Poet King David knows this, and I want the same deep relationship that David has with God. I want every part of my being to pant for God as a deer pants for water. If I cannot see who I am fighting for, how can I fight? "His praise shall be our battlecry!" So to the saints reading this message, my brothers and sisters:

Ephesians 1:15-21
"For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come."

To worship God is...

How can I keep from singing your praise, O God?
My soul's longing is to be satisfied,
And you, my glorious King are infinite.
You are the bread that satisfies my soul,
Nothing can satisfy, only You.

You are my awesome Creator,
To love You is to give my all for Your glory.
To love You is my deepest longing.
To be freed from my lethal self-centredness,
To magnify You is my desire.

There is none like You,
You exalt Yourself for Your glory.
And to look upon Your glory,
Simply to be in Your presence
And worship You fills us with joy.

My joy is in You because of who You are.
My deepest longing is fulfilled in my King.
Your Name is beautiful,
Because You exalt who You are.
You have shown me Your love.

How I long to live only
To drink deeply of Your love,
To enjoy You forever,
And so to give You glory.
You are my light.

For Your glory, You have saved me.
I was a wretch, forsaking my very Creator.
I had turned away from my source of life and love,
But You chained my will to Yours and You ransomed me.
Your precious Son paid what I could not pay.

You have shown me the glory of Your love,
Your amazing grace, your undeserved mercy.
I can live to see the riches of Your goodness,
To know You and give You glory
As part of Your chosen people.

You have written my name on Your hand,
Your promise will last forever.

The Frost

The Frost

I have seen beauty today.
It came swiftly,
Swiftly like the pearls of rain,
That splash and give life.
As the sun rose,
Lighting the sky in
What seemed to me,
A magical glow.
It cast down light,
Revealing the crisp landscape,
Frozen in time, edged in silver.
Tiny crystals smiled up at me,
Glistening in the yellow light,
The haze from the clouds.
And I smiled back at them,
For I too was enlightened
By the magical glow.
The light flooded the land
And my chains were released.
They came alive and danced,
Dancing with me in my joy.
Everything was fresh and new,
Preserved in eternal beauty.
As I danced in the garden,
I only wished I was like them.
The world was wonderful.
Dawn had come and
The world had been reborn.
Perfect and flawless,
White and mystical,
Filling my heart with wonder.
Fragile and delicate edges,
Each one carefully placed
And all intricately designed.
The crystals all with pride,
Each one different and special.
I tried to see them all,
Knowing all were waiting
To show me their beauty.
I wept that I could not make
A poem for each single one
Designed as a sign; millions,
Showing exactly what He can do.
I have seen beauty today.


Well, obviously this wasn't today, again, this is a poem I wrote a few years ago, on a cold winter's morning when there was frost. I didn't actually do all the things I said I did in the poem, but I guess that my failing. God is wonderful, and He has filled His creation with beauty. It's such a wicked shame that we don't enjoy it nearly as much as we should...

The dragon in the desert.

Why do I persist in rebelling against You?
Please lead me in your ways God!
I am so helpless without You.
Without You I am wandering in a desert,
I'm parched with thirst for Your water;
Water of life flowing from Your springs.
I don't know where I'm going,
I can't even find where I've come from.
The only help I can find is from You
But I cast You away from me.

Now I cannot settle, I am cursed.
You are not just my life,
But my only reason for living.
Without You there is no life.
If I could find my way
Through this desert back to You,
I would never cease to rejoice.
My soul would forever cry out,
With joy too inexpressible
For spiritual sighs.

In my desert, I see only dry sand.
I'm so tired, my head is bowed.
The ground is my vantage point,
The dust is my pitiful sight.
My eyes strain and itch
With the relentless stinging sand.
A baked desert, now filled with wind
Whips at my face and back.
The sun that I cannot bear
To see or feel, tortures me.

O God, You are so holy.
You are so righteous, and perfect.
You are beautiful beyond compare.
Your awesome glory fills the world.
The wonder of Your is love
Is displayed for all to see.
Your will is flawless and beautiful,
Perfect and as a priceless diamond.
Yet Your love is more forgiving
Than I could ever hope to imagine.

A cursed creature, an object of wrath
I can only cringe under Your wonder.
My life is a shadow of Your creation.
I've twisted it so much, my head
Is bowed and bent so low,
How can You see me God?
How can You see who I am?
Who I perhaps once was?
Who I perhaps could be?

I can't see the edge of this desert,
And I'm turning away from my only guide.
I've come so far, deeper and deeper,
Into the heart of this barrenness.
But You came down to me
To where I was, right beside me.
You experienced my fierce desert.
You felt the heat, You were burnt,
You were parched and thirsty,
And I did not help You.
I mocked You.

And then, though I had not seen
The full horror of where my path
Through my desert would take me,
You went ahead of me, suffering more
Much more than I could ever survive.
And You went to the very heart,
The bitter core of my evil desert.
You met the dragon there in me.

The dragon was fierce and deceitful,
Its fiery breath had burned up the ground
Bit by bit until my vast desert was made.
From its birth, I had been on that path,
Straight into that fiery mouth
At the core of my corruption.
But You went ahead of me,
To where I could not go.
The dragon struck You on the heel,
But on that third day
You crushed its head.

You came back for me,
You told me of Your victory.
You made me an object of mercy,
You called me Your child.
The desert dissolved,
And in its place was paradise.
In Your footsteps You brought life,
You brought me back
Into the garden of Your love.
Your mercy showered down
Your grace filled my heart.
Abundance and joy and mirth
Filled my emptiness.

You have given more than I can measure.
You have taken away what I could not.
Death has passed over me,
Because You have shown me
The glory of Your mercy.
The life ahead of me,
The real life, life with the fullness
Of being with You,
Is too marvelous and beautiful
To express within eternity.

Thank You for bringing me back to You.
Thank You for Your promise and strength,
Even when I still struggle through
The last stretch of my journey
Through this life, into Your life.
"To live is Christ, to die is gain."

Wilting of the World

Autumn comes and goes but;
More often it comes. Nothing
Lasts forever. Trees are cut
Down and wilt and forests ring,
With the sound of chain-saws.
Everyone is mortal, no one,
Is victorious against Death's claws.
The leaves fall and are done.

Young become old and die.
Countries appear and war and fade,
Everything will eventually lie
Down. Things are always made
And Winter is where they are headed.
Nothing can escape the onslaught
Of the coldness and so they are dead.
The trees freeze, we are taught.

Spring is too often, too cold.
The leaves do not appear yet;
Though they should, we are told.
It is time for those alive to bet,
On what is diminished and done,
So far. It is possible to prolong,
The inevitable but there are none
Who can escape. They are wrong;
When they talk of summer
And of new and young. I cope,
But nothing lasts forever
And nothing ever will, except hope.

Again, with most of my poems, this was written a few years ago, this one during a slightly darker period... Not really sure what state I was in, but I felt like writing this as a frontal assault on what I saw as the insult that there was any good in the world. People like to blind themselves sometimes, and I well and truly did!

I would say that my situation in life, from a worldly point of view is much worse now than it was then, but there is a huge difference. I mentioned hope in the very last line; what is different now is that I understand what that hope is.

And it's not just any unfounded hope. It's the hope that never fails. The hope that is built on a solid foundation. The hope that anchors me and keeps me from going adrift. It is a hope that has become a faith. And that faith has changed my life and how I live my life.

For one thing, I don't write poems like this anymore! But this poem still speaks to me about how I was. About the fear and predicament that I was in and the feeling of helplessness that every person eventually discovers if they do not know God. There is only a hope with no substance, with no foundation. And so when the storms come, we can be swept away.

It is a constant reminder to me of the desperation that I have come from. I was lost without and now I am found. I was blind to God, but He opened my eyes. I pray that He will work in the hearts of everyone who reads this and that this poem will be held up as a mirror to the lives of anyone who does not yet know God, so that they can see just how lost they really are.

And with God's help, they will be changed. We must be born again.

Your Face

A smile hidden
Behind a beautiful face,
Bursting its seams
Trying to get out.
Let it escape
And smile for me.
Part those lips
And let it be free.

Your face seems strange
Looking so sad.
Hammered by the
Reality of the world.
Your face lights up
With your lovely grin;
Forget the troubles
Of our planet.

They don't matter,
Not to me or to you.
Your smile is dying,
But don't let it go;
It is my happiness.
When I see your face
Looking so glum,
And a smile bursts out
And you are full of laughter,
I forget the world and
I forget the pain,
And all I can see
Is you smiling at me.

A Day at Home

Sitting in the warm room,
Rain patters the cloudy glass
A symbol of the piercing cold beyond.
Warmth envelops me as I stare.
Cosiness covers my body and yet,
The sight before me chills my bones.
Amidst the comfort, I sneeze.
A snuffle, a sniffle while resting
In the hazy orange light.
I look out unto the night:

Dark now, a faint pittering of rain
Tells me what is happening beyond.
Miniature streams full of ambition
Run down the driveway together.
Pinpricks of light, street-lamps,
Or are they something else?
A dark form; the car just visible
And the sight seems to me so miserable.

The sickness ravages my head.
My throat burns
As my stomach churns.

The ethereal lights bring me back.
I gaze out the window
From my sheltered seat
Mystical, magical lights guide the way.
Brighten the road for the raindrops,
Showing them the way to freedom.
As I sit in hypnosis I shiver,
Imagining the coldness of the river.

Yet I am detached, removed.
In an obscure, sickness-ridden mind,
I want to be a glint of light
Among the millions, but I am held back.
My legs betray my demands,
My arms disobey and stay still.
As I sit in the warmth and heat,
The coldness is in here around my seat.


I wrote this poem a few years ago, at a time when I felt helpless about the world and my purpose in it. I saw other people doing incredible works for God and I was caught up in my own comfort and lack of responsibility. It was a form of paralysis. I recognised who God was but I wasn't able to do anything about it. I later realised that only God could do something about it, I just had to let Him. To succeed, I had to stop trying to by myself. To be free, I had to become a slave. To be victorious, I had to surrender. Which is what God made me do in the end.

So the paralysis didn't last, God moved me on. Shortly after that, I became involved in Limerick's Christian youth group, Awakenings. I'm now a youth worker on the team of leaders for it. But since then, I've become involved in a lot of different Christian activities. At this moment in time, I've been re-assessing a lot of stuff that's been on my mind. I've been stretching myself a bit thinly over the last two weeks but reading this poem reminded me of the magnitude of the commitment I've made and part of the reason why I made it. And why I'm going to keep running the race...