Listen to the Bible - not feelings.

Things have been really tough going recently. I don't really understand why, apart from the general reason - my many sins, especially my lack of faith. At times, I am in awe of the cross, and then I lose sight of it and get stuck in rut staring in horror at my depravity.

Has Christ not set me free? How then can I not give Him the praise He deserves? Can my wickedness be so deep that I fail in some many things to honour Christ above all? I know the answers to these questions - scripturally, logically. I believe the answers, but how often my actions do not match my beliefs! How quick is my heart to run after the things which cannot satisfy and which profane the name of my Saviour!

But I am comforted, when I recall, and when I bring to mind (oh, what glorious miracle!), the words of my Saviour. "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I remember that it is impossible to serve God and Mammon, and I am in no doubt as to who Christ serves with all His heart and mind and soul and strength - His Father. And I am in no doubt as to the Father's love for the Son!

What despair I would be in if Christ had not preached to me the Gospel and loosed my from my bonds! How devoid of all hope I would be if Christ was not my Saviour. As it is I struggle to overcome feeling down now and again. If not for Christ, I would have no weapon with which to strike against my constant enemies - the world, the flesh, and the devil. If my own feet were to support me, I'd be groveling in the dust with the serpents. But Christ is my Rock who makes me to stand. How glorious a thing it is, that the ground on which I stand does not depend on myself! The only light I can see is that Christ is the all-sufficient Saviour - He will not leave me nor forsake me.

How I long to see Him more clearly, and yet how often I struggle to even find such a longing in me! Why do I not hate wicked apathy as I ought! But Christ will keep me waiting for His deliverance - His rod and staff will guide me down the narrow path. I have no strength of myself - of that I am certain. It seems that the people in the world have plenty of strength, they struggle and succeed in the world, yet I struggle to struggle, and often don't struggle. Yet how much more motivation I have, than they. They live to please themselves, I live to serve Christ who saved me, and yet their perseverance and dedication puts me to shame. And is my longing to be rid of this old man, also selfishness and pride, rather than love for my Creator? A lucid moment is very precious.

I've not been working on my final year project for college as much as I ought to have been. I should have been finished weeks ago. Now I've had the deadline extended and I wonder will I even meet that target. And I tell myself not to get stressed - and depressed. I remind myself of Romans 8:28. I imagine the possibility of failing utterly and tell myself that it wouldn't be the end of the world. And then I feel like it would be. But what business has a Christian to listen to himself - especially a Reformed Christian. Scripture alone is our authority. We must listen God, and not ourselves, for we are filled with lies - our old man in the image of that father of lies, Satan.

I've been keeping up to date with http://www.creation.com/ and they've really been pumping out some great articles. I wanted to share a great quote (not an endorsement) from Louis Berkof:

"Since the entrance of sin into the world, man can gather true knowledge about God from His general revelation only if he studies it in the light of Scripture"

I ended up sharing a few thoughts that have been running through my head for weeks instead though, which is fine. Funny how it came around to a very similar topic - the authority of Scripture. I also need to remember their sufficiency, that same sufficiency of the Holy One who breathed them. May we rest in Him and give Him glory - for He is worthy.