Torture in all the early days of school,
Educated with grim exclusion,
Tutored by isolation and hatred;
My teachers were scoffing and violence.
I cried friendless and lonely.
Moving cranked the wheel of the rack.
Stretched out further on the coals of abuse,
Heaps of mockery fell like scalding irons,
Thrown in the mud and scraped on the tarmac;
There was no mercy for a four-eyed freak.
The tears on the outside all dried up.
Inward turmoil was my closest study.
Oppression grew me a hardened casing,
Bitterness became my only protection,
Foolish boasts and jokes deflected the blows;
Laughing at the pain was my wretched strength.
The well of my heart drew no more water.
My heart was crushed and powdered.
The eyes of my head could see no light,
The world around was like the darkest pit,
Despair and emptiness invaded my soul;
To the point where I could only see I was dead.
No brighter sight could I then have seen.
In such a hopeless state, I hungered.
A thirst for light and help remained,
Deep longing harboured in my weakest frame,
Despair became kindling for a mighty flame;
Loneliness became fuel waiting for a spark.
God had brought me low and then struck a match.
Blessed regeneration flared within!
Jesus preached to my heart and soul,
A joyful fountain erupted in my well!
A volcano of hope and life exploded;
My eyes were filled with light and glory.
The Spirit gave me the blessed rebirth.
Though I was a sinner in every respect
And full of transgression and evil and debt,
Yet Christ was more gracious and full of mercy.
He filled up my heart with the faith to behold
His righteous and holy perfection untold.
What I had deserved He had borne on the tree.
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