"My dead heart now is beating!"

You satisfy me Lord.
In the midst of the turmoil
As my emotions take hold,
You are the shield of my heart.
Stand watch Lord, and protect,
Guard my heart from temptation.
Come Lord, and satisfy
Fill me with Your steadfast love.

Your beauty cannot be contained
Not in all of creation
Not in all my sight and sense.
Enlarge my vision, O Lord,
Broaden my mind and make it grow,
Open my heart to know Your love
Give me eyes to see You,
I long to gaze on Your beauty.

Without You Lord, I am dead
I wander away hopelessly lost
Nothing can compare with You
Your truth and Your beauty are my desire
To see Your glory is my deepest longing
To gaze on Your face is beyond compare.
Raise me to life again, to know You
Lead me back to Your paths.

Your ways are wonderful, O Lord,
To contemplate Your plans is wondrous to me.
You have shown me Your kindness
You have looked on me with mercy
And You have showered Your grace upon me.
I am such a wretched man
Yet Your grace is greater than my transgressions
You delight to give good gifts to me.

I have not wearied myself for You
I have squandered my inheritance.
To Your faithfulness and love
I have been unfaithful and adulterous.
Yet You have loved me everlastingly
And You fill my heart with sorrowful joy
As You show me my failings
And stir up the depths of my dead heart.

Only You Lord, can fill our hearts,
Only You can make us love compassion
Only You can break our hearts with love
Your love is greater than our coldness.
Only You can heal the cold dead heart
Only You can heal my broken heart,
Without You I am dead, and all the world
Is without compare to Your love.

Your love is better than life,
Though my heart and flesh may fail
I am Yours and You are mine
Now I know nothing can separate us.

---

I love writing poetry (or at least I like to think it's poetry - a bit presumptuous, maybe), but I realised that a lot of how I had been using this gift was initially for writing complaints or self-pity rants but I noticed that through writing God often draws me closer and He shows me more of the hope I have in Him, He show me that life is knowing Him and falling more in love with Him every day. It got me thinking, if I would ever consider writing love poetry to a girl that I loved, why would I not first devote myself to writing love poetry to God? The answer is that my deceitfully wicked heart needs a lot of work. My Creator, Saviour, Redeemer and King, deserves all my love first and foremost. The more I meditate on Him, the more I gaze on His beauty and glory, the more deeply I fall in love with Him, and I know that when I start writing, my love for God grows. It would be insanity to write love poetry to anyone else, if I have not first fallen deeply in love with God. A sure recipe for destruction. Indeed any love I have for anyone else would not be complete if my love does not flow from my love for God and the love He has for me. There is no-one in the world who I could love as much as I could love God, if He continues to open my eyes to see Him, and there surely is no-one in the world who could love me as much as God has already loved me everlastingly, and it is only by His love that I can love at all.

Read the Psalms, the Warrior-Poet King David knows this, and I want the same deep relationship that David has with God. I want every part of my being to pant for God as a deer pants for water. If I cannot see who I am fighting for, how can I fight? "His praise shall be our battlecry!" So to the saints reading this message, my brothers and sisters:

Ephesians 1:15-21
"For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come."

To worship God is...

How can I keep from singing your praise, O God?
My soul's longing is to be satisfied,
And you, my glorious King are infinite.
You are the bread that satisfies my soul,
Nothing can satisfy, only You.

You are my awesome Creator,
To love You is to give my all for Your glory.
To love You is my deepest longing.
To be freed from my lethal self-centredness,
To magnify You is my desire.

There is none like You,
You exalt Yourself for Your glory.
And to look upon Your glory,
Simply to be in Your presence
And worship You fills us with joy.

My joy is in You because of who You are.
My deepest longing is fulfilled in my King.
Your Name is beautiful,
Because You exalt who You are.
You have shown me Your love.

How I long to live only
To drink deeply of Your love,
To enjoy You forever,
And so to give You glory.
You are my light.

For Your glory, You have saved me.
I was a wretch, forsaking my very Creator.
I had turned away from my source of life and love,
But You chained my will to Yours and You ransomed me.
Your precious Son paid what I could not pay.

You have shown me the glory of Your love,
Your amazing grace, your undeserved mercy.
I can live to see the riches of Your goodness,
To know You and give You glory
As part of Your chosen people.

You have written my name on Your hand,
Your promise will last forever.

The Frost

The Frost

I have seen beauty today.
It came swiftly,
Swiftly like the pearls of rain,
That splash and give life.
As the sun rose,
Lighting the sky in
What seemed to me,
A magical glow.
It cast down light,
Revealing the crisp landscape,
Frozen in time, edged in silver.
Tiny crystals smiled up at me,
Glistening in the yellow light,
The haze from the clouds.
And I smiled back at them,
For I too was enlightened
By the magical glow.
The light flooded the land
And my chains were released.
They came alive and danced,
Dancing with me in my joy.
Everything was fresh and new,
Preserved in eternal beauty.
As I danced in the garden,
I only wished I was like them.
The world was wonderful.
Dawn had come and
The world had been reborn.
Perfect and flawless,
White and mystical,
Filling my heart with wonder.
Fragile and delicate edges,
Each one carefully placed
And all intricately designed.
The crystals all with pride,
Each one different and special.
I tried to see them all,
Knowing all were waiting
To show me their beauty.
I wept that I could not make
A poem for each single one
Designed as a sign; millions,
Showing exactly what He can do.
I have seen beauty today.


Well, obviously this wasn't today, again, this is a poem I wrote a few years ago, on a cold winter's morning when there was frost. I didn't actually do all the things I said I did in the poem, but I guess that my failing. God is wonderful, and He has filled His creation with beauty. It's such a wicked shame that we don't enjoy it nearly as much as we should...

The dragon in the desert.

Why do I persist in rebelling against You?
Please lead me in your ways God!
I am so helpless without You.
Without You I am wandering in a desert,
I'm parched with thirst for Your water;
Water of life flowing from Your springs.
I don't know where I'm going,
I can't even find where I've come from.
The only help I can find is from You
But I cast You away from me.

Now I cannot settle, I am cursed.
You are not just my life,
But my only reason for living.
Without You there is no life.
If I could find my way
Through this desert back to You,
I would never cease to rejoice.
My soul would forever cry out,
With joy too inexpressible
For spiritual sighs.

In my desert, I see only dry sand.
I'm so tired, my head is bowed.
The ground is my vantage point,
The dust is my pitiful sight.
My eyes strain and itch
With the relentless stinging sand.
A baked desert, now filled with wind
Whips at my face and back.
The sun that I cannot bear
To see or feel, tortures me.

O God, You are so holy.
You are so righteous, and perfect.
You are beautiful beyond compare.
Your awesome glory fills the world.
The wonder of Your is love
Is displayed for all to see.
Your will is flawless and beautiful,
Perfect and as a priceless diamond.
Yet Your love is more forgiving
Than I could ever hope to imagine.

A cursed creature, an object of wrath
I can only cringe under Your wonder.
My life is a shadow of Your creation.
I've twisted it so much, my head
Is bowed and bent so low,
How can You see me God?
How can You see who I am?
Who I perhaps once was?
Who I perhaps could be?

I can't see the edge of this desert,
And I'm turning away from my only guide.
I've come so far, deeper and deeper,
Into the heart of this barrenness.
But You came down to me
To where I was, right beside me.
You experienced my fierce desert.
You felt the heat, You were burnt,
You were parched and thirsty,
And I did not help You.
I mocked You.

And then, though I had not seen
The full horror of where my path
Through my desert would take me,
You went ahead of me, suffering more
Much more than I could ever survive.
And You went to the very heart,
The bitter core of my evil desert.
You met the dragon there in me.

The dragon was fierce and deceitful,
Its fiery breath had burned up the ground
Bit by bit until my vast desert was made.
From its birth, I had been on that path,
Straight into that fiery mouth
At the core of my corruption.
But You went ahead of me,
To where I could not go.
The dragon struck You on the heel,
But on that third day
You crushed its head.

You came back for me,
You told me of Your victory.
You made me an object of mercy,
You called me Your child.
The desert dissolved,
And in its place was paradise.
In Your footsteps You brought life,
You brought me back
Into the garden of Your love.
Your mercy showered down
Your grace filled my heart.
Abundance and joy and mirth
Filled my emptiness.

You have given more than I can measure.
You have taken away what I could not.
Death has passed over me,
Because You have shown me
The glory of Your mercy.
The life ahead of me,
The real life, life with the fullness
Of being with You,
Is too marvelous and beautiful
To express within eternity.

Thank You for bringing me back to You.
Thank You for Your promise and strength,
Even when I still struggle through
The last stretch of my journey
Through this life, into Your life.
"To live is Christ, to die is gain."

Are we really crucified to the world?

Galatians 6:14
"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."

God is moving powerfully in my life, and the lives of many Christians around me. Here's a hint:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/EventMessages/ByDate/1813_Doing_Missions_When_Dying_Is_Gain/
I'm done with comfortable Christianity. I've heard it said that the first thing Satan does in this country to a new Christian, is to build a nice pram for them. Smother them with comfort and security so that they quickly fall asleep. Some talk about personal evangelism, where we suppose that if we share our lives with people for long enough that living as "nice" people is going to tell people the Gospel. Then we hold that up as some kind of justifiable replacement for passionately loving God by living out lives to glorify God in every way with every breath, by leaving our comfort, casting aside our fears and anxieties and proclaiming the Gospel whenever and wherever we possibly can!

That link really says it all much better than I could. Check it out, it's an audio file of a sermon, under an hour long. I wish we could grasp a greater understanding of God's awesome glory and how He is more satisfying than everything we could ever want or need and that we could have an even greater passion and joy for glorifying Him. "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face." 1 Corinthians 13:12. The greatest joy we will experience will be rejoicing in God when we are face to face with His glory, and the amazing thing is that it's not that far away. We're not here on earth for very long. I wish Christians everywhere could join with Paul in saying, "to live is Christ and to die is gain." Colossians 3:2 says this, "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." And when we get hold of how awesome it will be to be with God in heaven, that's what will give us a single passion in this life, and that passion will be to glorify Him.

Another comment about a common comfortable Christianity opinion of evangelism came to my mind:

We grieve the Spirit of Christ if we resign ourselves to simply waiting for "opportunities" when we should be passionate about MAKING "opportunities" for sharing the Good News.

Our time everyday that so often we have the audacity to call "free" and that we fill with watching worthless television and feeble attempts at self-gratification, is our God-given opportunity to glorify Him by living, speaking and breathing His message!

For a Christian there is no such thing as "free" time. There is only time that has been bought and paid for with the blood of Jesus in His awesome sacrificial love.

Don't get me wrong, we need to take rests and it is God-glorifying to do so. But isn't the best way to refuel our bodies and souls not to sit in front of the television, but to sit in front of the throne of God in prayer, listening to Him, not the world?

Again, Jesus showed us the example.